After a long time...

It's been a very long time. I'm writing after more than 16 months. That's a long break. When I started this blog; I didn't expect to share as much as I actually did. However, gradually I felt like sharing more and more. Though I felt like writing many times; I was not able to find the time to peacefully sit; open my laptop and write down a post.

What went wrong? Probably nothing. The last year has been an eventful one. It gave me numerous moments of joy and happiness; but at the same time; left me sad at many times. A lot of things changed. I got a new job; traveled new places, met new people, made new friends and bonded with older ones. At the same time, lost a couple of people very close to me. Though not directly related to me; I didn't love them any less than the one directly related to them. Also, got my portion of bad experiences on the Delhi roads, with the police and a few people. All said and done; it was, no doubt, an year to remember; just like its predecessors.

So, what brings me back? Between my last post and today, there has been one person who has been constantly encouraging me to write. Exactly, three years and two days back, I published the first personal post of my blog. Dedicated to the girl who had painted various pages of life colorful. You remember her, right? The girl I call the Angel of my life. Yes, the same girl. I wrote a lot about life with her and without her as well. As usual, she sorted out everything and we are back on track. She really never ceases to amaze me.

Being a very fickle minded person myself most of the times; she brought the much required stability to my life. She is the anchor of my life and we have been sailing together in the sea of life. The water has not settled yet and the reflection is still distorted by waves. Neither have the Rain God blessed Delhi with great downpour this time; but I am not missing them as before. Probably, my life with Angel and God have taken separate routes; and She is not the one who's disappointing me. Life has been pretty amazing with her. And yeah, one of the best moments being when I was finally able to gather the courage to tell what I felt for her and she accepted positively. Today, as we spend time together, talking of building our future; I wonder if she is still the same girl whose eyes anxiously searched for me while coming out of the gate many years ago. To an extent, she is and will always be. Things will change; people will come and go; life will continue but there are some things which shall never change. And, my love for the Imperfect Angel is one of them.

Silence is Not Always Golden

Time, they say, heals all the wounds. "This too shall pass" has been widely accepted as the single explanation to every situation. Though, we hardly care about it in the happy times; it is our only escape during the adverse phase. During a critical situation, we generally surrender ourselves and tend to believe in the power of time and silence in order to achieve the lost peace of mind. We are made to believe that silence is golden and in some cases, much more powerful than actions or words. Though, this holds true in some form, it depends on every individual how (s)he follows this not-so-golden rule. Silence, I believe, is not always golden.


Almost everyday in our life, we encounter situations which bother us but we try to avoid talking about them. And if the issues are connected to the person we really care for or the person we really need, silence always prevails. Whenever we are scared of hurting someone or fear getting ourselves hurt, we prefer choosing the path of silence. In short, it becomes the thumb rule whenever emotions or feelings of a person are involved.

However, we forget that keeping silence during certain aforementioned times leads to long term complications. In those situations, silence can be really painful. Instead, talking and sorting out the matter at an appropriate time should be the approach. It definitely helps and brings up the solution. The maximum damage words can do under most of the circumstances is that the person you love will be angry for some time. But in the end, when the clutter is sorted, the bond will be stronger than before. It is better to get a temporary hurt rather than keeping mum and getting a life-long non-curable wound. During the extreme times, words can even lead to losing the people you cared about. But even in that case, it shall benefit you in the long run. You will definitely land somewhere else where you might really be happy about things in your life.

Silence,is not the perfect tool for every situation as it is supposed to be. It is better to take control of the situation and find a way out and be happy and content rather than getting hurt and yet pretending to be happy. As Martin Luther King Jr. put it beautifully, "In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends."

P.S. Dedicated to the people who believe in the power of time and silence more than their own self and let the things continue the way they are.

Solve Thy Problem

Problems are part and parcel of life. But for every problem, there exists a solution. All we need to do is to show the will to achieve a favorable solution. Here is what I refer to whenever I end up in a serious problem in any relation.

Life with(out) an Angel - V

The clear image of the Moon was reflected in the pool of water before me. Immediately afterwards, it started raining. The clear image had turned to a distorted one. Her words echoed along with the sound of rain in my minds. “When the waves of water in the pool settle down, we get a clear picture of the life beyond those waves.” How true she was! But the basic instinct of water was flowing instead of standing still at place. And that is what brings changes the picture every now and then.

Change, people say, is the only thing constant in life. I second that. The change can be desirable or undesirable; natural or forced; good or bad, but it is always there – being an integral part of our lives. I believe we need change because lack of it would lead to stagnation and a dull and boring life. Change washes away the past behind and lets us explore newer dimensions of life. However, change is still one of the most unwelcome things in our life. We are reluctant to change because of the fear of losing something. But we forget that nothing in life is permanent. It’s our love or affection for certain things, people and places which binds us to them but at the same time, leads us to a still. We stop exploring other horizons and as a result, miss the better options and opportunities. There is nothing permanent in this world and we need to accept that. Accepting the change helps us to get rid of the ghost of the past also. It’s not that change is always unwelcome. In the bad times, one badly wishes for a change. If it asks us to try and not lose hope in bad times, it also teaches us to be calm and composed in the good times. 

I have always tried to accept the change around me; especially in the people around me. But sometimes people change too much and more importantly, they change to what they promised they’ll never be. I still try to resonate with them but there comes a point in life when you need to stop lying to yourself and accept the change, no matter how undesirable that is. You need to accept the fact that some people can stay forever in your heart only, not in your life. People change, but life goes on; and that is what is most important.

In a previous post, I’ve discussed how things will change but there will be certain things which will always be there. As the moon rises this night, it reminds me of my imperfect choice. The Moon will always be there, without any change, and remind me of her, the one whom I lovingly called ‘The Imperfect Angel.”

Satyamev Jayate: Just another talk show?

For the past 13 weeks, the Sunday morning slot of the idiot-box was reserved for Satyamev Jayate in most of the households in India. The first episode was premiered on the 6th of May, 2012 and it culminated today with a special episode. Ever since its inception, the show received both accolades and criticism from critics and general public.

Episode after episode, the show discussed various sensitive topics prevalent in India such as female feticide, child sex abuse, dowry, medical malpractice, honor killings, casteism, alcoholism, domestic violence, water crisis and plight of the physical disabled and the old people. Every episode tried to inform, educate and make people aware of the corresponding social issue. The show managed to garner overwhelming TRPs and response on social networking sites during the initial episodes.The reasons were many and included the small screen debut of Aamir Khan, who was also the producer of the show. He left no stone unturned for publicizing the show to the maximum extent.

The show started with the image of a change agent as if it was created to remove all the social evils. It was evident from the response post first episode but the true story was yet to be unveiled. Unfortunately, the show just presented the problem and then stepped back expecting the government to take action against the culprits. What it forgot is that laws have already been there to prevent such social ailments but they alone cannot suffice. What we actually need is awareness among the people. Yes, the show did try to generate that but don't expect an hour or two of a TV show to be enough for the people to fall in line.

It's very easy to point fingers at others; to find errors in the system. What is difficult is rectifying that error. Whenever, someone points out something wrong, the person is expected to correct it or if he is not able to do so, think of other ways to fulfill the aim which might include pushing the government to rectify the error. Satyamev Jayate didn't try either of them. Every Sunday, the show started with a new topic, bringing few ugly truths of the society in front of the society; Aamir sheds a few tears, the audience shed a few tears and the show passes into oblivion with a song. Next day, Aamir would request a politician or meet another to look into the matter. If a single request or meeting to get something correct accomplished in our system, Anna Hazare and team would not have to fast for numerous days for a cause.

Some people also said that Aamir used the show to make money by highlighting societal evils and projecting himself and the show as an agent of change. Someone tweeted that hundreds of activists have been working for years to eradicate these social issues. The only difference between them and Aamir is that he charges 3 crores to speak the same things.  However, I don't think that he can be blamed for anything. He is an entertainer meant to entertain people. He is an actor, a role model, a great human being but not an agent of change. He'd raise the issue with great concern but will not see them through to a solution. He has to and will eventually return to making films. This was just another talk show for him not his life like those unsung heroes he talked in the last episode who have been working wholeheartedly for various causes without any other concerns.

One more thing I don't consider Satyamev Jayate a total failure as you might infer from the above stated text. One great thing which it accomplished was that it introduced several heroes coming from the masses who had suffered that menace and later overcame that with their will power and determination. It was a show with an aim to generate awareness among the people. It has partly succeeded in doing that. It was never meant to change the conditions. The onus to eradicate every social evil from the society lies on our shoulders. It's the first three words of the Constitution, "We, the people" which can bring about the required change. It's our job. After 13 episodes, Aamir's job is now over. I just hope Satyamev Jayate does its bit of job and doesn't end up being just another Sunday morning talk show which people enjoy and forget.

Jai Hind. Jai Bharat. Satyamev Jayate.

Life with an Angel - IV

The rain gods have not been very kind to the people of Delhi this year. The monsoon showers seem to be in a mood to play hide and seek. Often the sky was filled with clouds making the sunset a picturesque moment with the clouds lined in gold and the sun rays reaching upwards. There were numerous frames which can be kept in your memories and brought to mind whenever you need something beautiful and peaceful. The only thing missing was rains.

I have always loved the rains (apart from a few instances, of course, when I got into trouble because of it). I believe that rains are a great way to rejuvenate our life and feel blessed. They bring in a renewed beauty and charm to everything around us. They wash away all the unwanted things and clean the atmosphere. The trees appear greener, the flowers fresher than ever and the sweet smell of Earth after rain feels like bliss.

The rains bring back several sweet memories from the past. Some beautiful mornings, some amazing afternoons and a few nights- all those moments when it was raining. They remind me of a girl standing in the rains, stealing her eyes away from the people, stretching out her arms and enjoying the rain drops touching her face, body and soul.

However, this year, the pages have turned. I am missing the rains more than ever. The monsoon this year has been more or less similar to my life with Angel. The sky was almost always covered with gloomy clouds, preventing a bright sky. There were a little sprinkles now and then but the joy of getting completely drenched in downpour was missing. Yes, the silver lining was also there; with every passing moment, I could feel my growing affection for her. Certain unwanted things are having a ball and a few things a tough time in its absence. I hope that the rain gods will shower their blessings as soon as possible to clear the mess and provide a fresh life to all in need.

When it's not her, the next best thing I can think of is Nature only. Sitting in the rains, under the open sky, with my eyes closed, listening to the sound of the falling raindrops, feeling the cold wind along with the pleasant smell of the Earth gives almost the same pleasure as sitting in front of her and gazing into her eyes. That carefree look of hers gives much more pleasure than the majestic views of any place around the globe. If there is any escape from her, it has to be in the lap of nature. Nothing else compares to her; to the Imperfect Angel.

OS ki Kashish

I wrote the following lines a long time ago during the third semester of my college life. Came across this on a friend's blog and thought I should share it. The mid semester exam of Operating Systems (OS) was scheduled for the next time and I had not even started the preparations. Anxiety was at its peak when I and GG, one of my besties, started chit-chatting and came up with a parody of the popular Himesh Reshammiya song.

OS ki Kashish

(OS ki kashish sarfarosh hai
OS ka nasha yun madhosh hai
kya kahein ye course karke jaane ja
gum hua hosh hai..-2) – 2
OS ki kashish sarfarosh hai

Bairiyaa threads ka,process jo chal gaya
pagal main hua, system bhi mar gaya
halka dhuan uth,processor jal gaya
roshan hua sama, monitor jal gaya
jaaga re jaaga re main khoya
OS ki kitaab me dimaag duboya
ab mera jahan,OS ki aagosh hai
OS ka nasha yu madhosh hai
kya kahe ye course leke jaane ja
gum hua hosh hai..-2

Dooba rahu sada OS ki kitaab me
uljha rahu sada coding me sawaal me
number ke bina ab na karaar hai
jaaneman number pe to neend bhi nisaar hai
jaana re jaana re maine jaana
mere bas ka nahi hai ye course paas kar pana
na meri khata na google ka dosh hai
OS ka nasha yun madhosh hai
kya kahein ye course leke jaane jaa
gum hua hosh hai
OS ki kashish sarfarosh hai
OS ka nasha yun madhosh hai
kya kahe ye course karke jaane ja
gum hua hosh hai..-2

Life with an Angel - III

The day was passing. The Sun was sinking slowly behind the high rises and its red rays lit up the sky above the western horizon. We stood on the side of a Delhi flyover. Bent on my knee, I looked up to her. The Sun blocked by her head created a halo of gold around her. With her serene white gown and her hairs flowing in the wind, she looked absolutely stunning; an Angel straight from the heaven.

My heart was beating so fast I thought it was going to burst out of my chest. It was one of the most exciting and nerve-racking times of my life. I had prepared a speech in my mind on what to say when I go down on my knee but when the moment came, I failed to execute it. I was so nervous I started mumbling something which I cannot recollect till today.. except that it ended with the three magical words. I closed my eyes and the world came to a standstill for the next few seconds. I could not hear anything, could not see anything except her.

The next sound I could hear was that of my alarm; which went on growing louder in intensity and annoying in nature. The dream was over. Again. I was back from the dream world and the reality was I could never gather the courage to tell her what I felt about her. Yes, there were a few blog posts dedicated to her along with some time-to-time personal messages. But I never had the guts to put it in a straight way. No matter how much I preached the “Live for the moment” theory, this was something I always delayed till the next time. It wasn’t because I was afraid she would say “NO”. Perhaps, I knew that I was only going to be able to do it only once in my life, so I had to do it perfectly. Perhaps, I was not sure why it was to be done.

 She is undoubtedly one of the best things that ever happened to my life. She is the only one I had ever thought about. Having gone through the ups and downs in the relation we shared, I realized no one ever makes me feel the same way before. Nobody makes me happy like she does. She fills my soul with immense pleasure and delight. I just feel complete with her. And I realize all I want is to grow old with her.

And we were really having a ball till the apocalypse year arrived.

Ghost of the Past

The other night I was talking to her when we started talking about truths of life, past and related fears. As always, she was reluctant talking about it. After a while, I paused and started wondering why we fear our past. We all have a past, a deep dark past. There are always certain things which we wish we had not said or done; things which we don’t want anyone to know.

Why do some of us spend so much time thinking about their past? Why do they fear talking about it? The most prominent reasons which come to my mind are that we didn’t expect ourselves making so many mistakes as we made and we assume a lot of things will turn out as we expect them to. This post briefly summarizes my viewpoint on how to let go of our past and not fear it.  It is one of the most important lessons of life – living in the present is the key to happiness. The past is over and gone; never to return. The future is not guaranteed.

Most of the times, we are able to put our mistakes of past (regrets?) behind us, especially the ones which are not major disappointments. And once we overcome them, we don’t fear them; personally or while sharing them with others. However, there are a few things which we are unable to get over in our minds. Those are things we regret about our past and fear sharing them. The main reasons behind this fear are the sense of losing something/someone and the belief that it might affect your present. Our minds keep returning back to what “might” have been, “could” have been and “should” have been. The more we think about the events we regret, the more the associated fear deepens. It follows us wherever we go and stops us from achieving our aspirations. 

How to let go of your past?

The most critical fact about past is that it cannot be changed. The events that you regret have already happened. And since there is no way to change the past, it is better if we learn to accept it. I believe that we should never regret our past decisions because they are what we considered the best at that particular moment. In case of failures, we just need to learn from those and move ahead. “Let it be” is one of the best phrases I’ve heard which helps me get rid of the past.

 

Once we learn to accept the things the way they are, we should stop thinking about them. The problem is that when we think about those events, we start imagining how the things could have been and then we realize that things have changed, which upsets us. It starts with a single thought but as soon as we start, it is almost impossible to stop. One thought leads to another and a vicious circle is formed.

One more important thing in this process is to realize the truth of impermanence. We should realize that outcome of the next second is unpredictable. Death can come at any moment. Therefore, we don’t have enough time to keep worrying about the past and ruining our present also. If someone tells us that we had only a few days of life left; we would regret spending so much time thinking about the past. As the time passes, we would be able to train our mind to ignore such thoughts, ultimately leading to complete dis-attachment.  

The next thing is to learn to accept that we can be wrong sometimes. We often don’t allow ourselves and others to be less than perfect. We need to learn to forgive not only others but also ourselves. Lastly, to overcome the fear of sharing our past, we should realize that people who care about us would accept us the way we are; with our mistakes and past, no matter how dark it is. Sharing always helps to overcome fears.

Letting go of past is like lifting a weight off our chest. It prevents us from being stagnant, allows us to move on and enjoy our present. It might be hard to accomplish but if we believe in ourselves and realize the aforesaid points, it is possible to overcome every fear related to your past and live completely for the present.

The Moon

As he stepped out of his college building, something wonderful happened. The first image he received was that of the full moon. Round, clear and spotless. A Chinese poem states:

"The fresh and beautiful moon is traveling in the utmost empty 

sky. When the mind-rivers of living beings are free, that 

image of the beautiful moon will reflect in each of us." 

He set his eyes on the Moon. It reminded him of the past. The one he was trying hard to forget, the one he was trying to let go of. It reminded him of her. Her carefree laugh started to echo in his ears and their talks captured his mind. They would always fight over who had a better choice. Her choice was Moon, his was she herself. And this was the only thing where he didn't love to lose against her. He stood by his beliefs, she stood by hers. Never coming to an end. And then one day, a new chapter started. She had vowed to prove him wrong. He had always asked her to be strong, confident and fight till the end with a great willpower but he never knew these skills could also be used against him. He stood shocked as she went on to prove how bad a choice he had.

Tomorrow, she may not be with him. He may forget everything about her. But what about the moon? The moon would always be there. And remind him of his imperfect choice. Always.

Man's Greatest Invention

Twitter is one of the greatest inventions ever made by man. Anything and everything in just 140 characters. As simple as that. Apparently, when people have less space to express, they tend to be intelligent with their words. Restoring the previous session in my Firefox brought me to my Twitter homepage and a twitter trend made sure I didn’t switch the tab. It was #greatestinvention which had got my thoughts racing. What could be the greatest invention made by human?

Is it the wheel? It changed the entire life of human beings. It gave the actual meaning to movement and has made the world smaller and smaller. Or is it the printing press? It was one of the first media of communication. It changed the ways how information was collected, stored, retrieved and distributed. Could it be the telephone? The idea of talking to a person sitting thousands of miles away from you was incredible. While the wheel made travelling possible, it reduced the necessity to travel. Okay, if not wheel, then what about automobile. Invented after a long time of the invention of wheel, it improved transportation and made movement swift and hassle-free. Television also stands a strong chance. It improved upon the radio and allowed better ways of transmission of news and other important media. It also became an excellent source of entertainment. Then I wondered about Computers. Since its invention in 1837 by Charles Babbage, the computer has changed billions of life. It changed the way we work. From a collection of vacuum tubes covering two rooms to a device which fits in your pocket, the computers have evolved exponentially. And the invention of Internet has only added to the value of computers. Internet was one of the revolutions which converted the globe into a village by fostering the share of information.

The list goes on and on. Steam engine, airplane, LASER, DNA, several vaccines etc. etc. A quick search on Google with the keywords “the greatest invention ever is *” returns thousands of results ranging from sex to space travel. Some consider the remote control the greatest whereas some think the same for seedless watermelon. 

Suddenly something struck me. The greatest invention ever made by man has to be… GOD!! Yes, God. None of the above mentioned inventions could control the minds of millions and millions of people making them conform to one ideal. None of them. There are and have been thousands of Gods. The Hindus alone worship 36 crores of them. A word defined by the brilliant minds of a few humans in the ancient times, God has touched the life of everyone on this planet Earth in one way or the other. Along with God, came Religion, the byproduct of God. It is the best tool to control a mass of people. It has enabled a bunch of people to control the entire human race by injecting fear and religious madness in their minds. It is the only thing which can make people wonder not only about their present, but also their previous and future births. What other invention can make people fight among themselves or even give up their own life? What else other than God can make people accept everything wrong that happened to them?

Inventions were made and forgotten, but God is immortal, the greatest of them all. How can any invention ever stand up to God?

So Close Yet So Far

A lot can be written about Mother but it's not easy to write about Father. Mother is a metaphor for emotions whereas Father has the power to control. He is like a silent poem; which has an external toughness and is devoid of emotions. And this is the reason why most of the children fear him. The ones who can see through this shell and feel the amount of emotions he hides in himself shall accept his greatness. Undoubtedly, he has the same amount of love for his children as the Mother. He has loads of emotions and feelings but he generally keeps them to himself making it difficult for the others to experience them. He has a large heart and a larger personality. He is the one who lets others to be free-minded and carefree.

A mother is often referred as the first teacher of any child but I believe, it's the father who prepares him for the journey called life. She is there to make him survive for the first few years and Father is the one who makes sure he survives the rest of his tough life. He not only tells him about the positive aspects of life but also warns about the adversities he might face. He teaches him the art of survival and makes him tough enough to bear the brunt of the real world when he steps out of home. He shares his knowledge and experience with him.

If there is one single word to sum up father, it has to be humble. He rarely talks about himself unless you ask him something. This is the reason it is somewhat hard to really get to know him. His silence encapsulates his personality. Very few would have seen him crying. He is immovable under all circumstances. He is head-strong and soft-hearted simultaneously. He'd always worry about things but would never let others to worry about them. He is generally like that only. Calm, composed, thoughtful and emotionless. He is the main pillar which supports each and every brick of the building called family. He not only fulfills our needs but also puts constraints on our unjust demands. He is the childhood hero and the idol of every child.

He is the one who knows when to leave you alone but is always there when you look behind your shoulder. Someone who encourages you not to settle for anything less than the best. Someone who lets you have ice-cream for breakfast and the one who loves you unconditionally (actually). Someone who wants to keep you from making mistakes but instead lets you find your own way even though his heart breaks in silence when you get hurt. Someone who holds you when you cry, scolds you when you break the rules, shines with pride when you succeed, and has faith in you even when you fail. He is the person to turn to when you have to take any tough decision. He wants to catch you before you fall but instead picks you up, brushes you off and lets you try again.

That's dad for me. All I know about him. But He still stands unexplored; the journey is unending.

"If you are friends with your father, you have a friend for life."

Recognition

It was half past eight in the morning. The Delhi Metro was standing still midway with the notifications about the delay going on. A man in his sixties was sitting in front of me. He was well dressed and had a glowing face, beaming with joy. Looking at his watch again and again, counting the number of stations left and then eagerly looking outside to check if the train started moving, he was getting very impatient. With every passing moment, he was getting a bit disappointed. Observing him for the last five minutes, I decided to strike a conversation with him.

"You seem to be in a hurry. Have you got an appointment with some doctor?", I enquired noticing the envelope of a hospital in his hand. "No. I have to take breakfast with my wife. She is admitted to a nearby hospital.", he replied.

"Ah, I see. How is she now? What happened to her?" This came entirely out of excitement.
"She is suffering from Alzheimer and has been admitted to the hospital for a long time. We always take our breakfast together", he replied with the same calmness.
I asked again,"Would she get angry with you if you got a bit late?"
"No." He took a long breath and continued. "Due to the disease she has completely forgotten about me and has not even identified me for the last five years."
I got a bit surprised. "You go to have breakfast with her daily even though she cannot recognize your presence!!!"
This time he smiled and replied,"She might not remember who I am but I know who She is."

Surprise!!

Though they met almost daily, he was oddly excited today. Everything was perfect. The flowers, the chocolates and the gift. He had finally gathered the guts to tell her what he felt about her and wanted to surprise her. He had reached the venue ahead of time. The venue, as decided by her, was way too distant from his normal path but he didn't complain. As the time passed, his excitement level was rising exponentially. He had said the lines a million times in his mind. She could arrive there any moment, so, he didn't want to lose any time.

There was still some time left for the decided time. Suddenly, his mobile beeped. He checked. It was a message from her. "I won't be able to come."

He didn't utter a single word. He didn't know how to react. Maybe, he never expected that a surprise might be waiting for him also. He looked around himself. There was a small girl begging for food. He went to her and gave the flowers, chocolates and the gift to her. She jumped with joy and her face split into a wide smile. She ran away and gradually faded into the crowd. So did his ambitions. A smile crossed his face and he turned back to what seemed to be an endless journey.

Life with an Angel - II

The beautiful white and golden structure of Bangla Sahib reflected in the water of the pond. Angel and I sat on the pond steps with our feet dipped in the cold water. The waves would come, wash our feet and return back. "Life is just like this", her voice went almost unnoticed. I wondered how and turned to her for an explanation. "Our life is just like the reflected image and the waves. Unclear and full of ups and downs. As time passes, the water will settle down and we rise above the horizon to get the clear image”, she elaborated.

I looked at her. She had nothing but a beaming glow and an irresistible charm on her face. She had been quite happy for the last few days and that was also reflected in her eyes. The reason: The news of a couple of long wishes getting fulfilled on a single day. She was an altogether different person that day; ecstatic, elated and joyful. Being aware of the wishes, I knew what they meant to her. They were the only things she had been wishing for years. Before you exercise your brain to guess them, I’d like to disclose that they were very close to her heart but not at all directly related to her. And this was one thing I absolutely loved about her: selflessly wishing and caring for the people around her. No matter what others’ thought of her, she’d always be happy to help them with a smile.

Talking of her smile, she had an infectious one. I’ve talked about it previously and still I can go on talking about it. Every time she is with me and smiles, I feel weak at the knees. It’s like an arrow being shot through my heart. Catching a glimpse of her smile is an overwhelming feeling which cannot be described in words; a moment I always look forward to. Recently she had shared a few images of her childhood and they were absolutely adorable. And it made me regret why I didn’t meet her earlier.

Angel

Talking to her previous night it came to my mind that life isn’t simple; it’s complicated and so is love. If we try to hide the love in our life, it makes the things more complex. Therefore, I decided to make my life a little less complex. I hope I’ll be able to make it happen. Wish me luck. :)

That’s all for now.

Reality: The Worst Game Ever!!

The blessing sun rays coming from my window pane woke me up. It was a usual summer morning. A gulmohar tree with vibrant red flowers occupied the entire frame of the window. I had an excellent sleep through the night and the entire scene outside made it a jubilant morning. I was still lying in the bed looking for my phone. The calendar told me it was 25th July 2011. Suddenly, something hit me.

25th July 2011. A day I had been waiting for so long. A day I wanted to come at the earliest. A day which could decide the future of my life. And it was here. There was nothing different yet it had changed many things. Dreams were shattered. Expectations broken. Hope lost. The foundations of my first ever plan for life had just crashed. Everything that I did to reach here, every single moment I spent thinking about it and the hours I spent preparing for it. Everything went in vain. I didn't know whether it was the end of beginning or beginning of the end. Welcome to reality, I told myself.

I had always thought of life as a game. The sole purpose of a game is to enjoy the experience - to have fun. But this depends on both the game and the player. Sometimes we may get the best game imaginable, but we may still decline to play. We worry about the complexities of the game instead of embracing them. Why? The answer lies in how we evaluate ourselves relative to the game. If we find the game bigger than us, we feel overwhelmed and would not want to play it. The same logic applies to life. If we think life is bigger than us, we probably don't want to play it either.

There are two modes in the game of life. One is the practice mode where we can choose everything. In other words, our dream world. The second mode is reality. This is where you get to see the real face and complexities of the game. It seems to be great in the beginning, but as you advance, you realize that you don't have time to understand the game play. You learn the rules and find that life is not a fair game. Mastery in this game is a lifelong process. And your learning is what helps you the most. Reality is the worst ever game that you'll ever play.

I had lost the strength to leave my bed. Or maybe I just didn't want to. Few things came to my mind. The game doesn't offer you many choices. You either keep sitting at a point waiting for the things to go your way or you just get up, march ahead and face the adversities. It took a lot of thoughts and time but in the end I chose the second option. Any setback in the game should be taken as an added challenge and I knew that. When the going gets tough, the tough get going. I had decided to quit whining and start all over again. With a new enthusiasm and exuberance. It's all about making some choices, experiencing the consequences and then growing from there. It's all good. My cheeks were a bit wet but a smile ran across my lips.

As I finally got up and sipped my tea, I wondered how boring life would be if everything fell at the right place in the first attempt. A game full of setbacks, randomness and delays is a lot more fun. If you have the determination and the courage it takes, you come out to be a better player.

The game of life may end with death, but in the meantime enjoy yourself. Life is supposed to be interesting, challenging and fun. Go out there and play!

Life with an Angel - I

Sitting in that restaurant while watching the people around me, I wondered whether I would ever meet any of these people again. While I was lost in this thought, someone had settled in front of me. Bang!! It was her. Angel. I was almost dazzled by her presence. It took me some time to come to my senses.

Her new found short hairs were still wet from the rains outside. The water drops clinging on her forehead were sparkling more than the diamond studs in her ears. Her eyes had a spark and a gentle smile added to the beauty of her face. She had undergone a makeover few days back and she was in full mood to flaunt her cool new summer avatar. She may not be the best looking girl in the world. But for me, she is. ;)

No doubt the conversation between the guy and the girl was interesting, but waiting is one thing I hate. I had thought of saying a line or two to her. But as soon as I saw her, I forgot that I had been waiting for her for the last 20 minutes. Sometimes, I wonder whether the reason was her cute smile which made me forget everything or had I grown used to it. Actually, I never cared about her mistakes, for she was my *that one person*, someone whom I could give numerous second chances.

Life had changed a bit after my last post about her. Fortunately, all of them were either cheerful or pure unexpected luck. The first surprise came in the form of a piece of writing about me. They were just a few words, but I was taken aback by her innocence and commitment while writing them. It was followed by some others; one of them was the early morning call today.

Random chit chat started. It was something we could keep on doing for hours and not getting bored. Sometimes I felt the reason we didn’t get bored of each other was that we had nothing to talk about, so, we could talk about everything. An hour had passed like a second. I was waiting for the rain to get over but she had something different in her mind. By the time we finished our drinks, we had decided something. Something which changed that Saturday into one of the most memorable days of my life. We walked to the entrance of the restaurant. It was raining heavily and the flowing winds carrying small water particles with them made the entire scene a sight of the heaven.

We moved out a bit. A few raindrops touched my face. We looked at each other. She gave me a mischievous smile and we had started running towards the nearest shelter. On the way between, I turned left to have a look on her. She was not there. I turned opposite and still couldn't find her. I stopped and turned back. There she was. Standing in the open with her face towards the sky; enjoying the rain drops touching her face, body and soul. The look and smile on her face made it one of the most unforgettable moments of life for me. I walked back to her. She held my hand and we walked together towards the destination. The feeling of walking hand in hand with an Angel in the rain cannot be explained in words. I never had the privilege of walking in heaven, but I am sure even that would not be able to match it.

The journey back had started; with splashing of water on each other, taking the routes less taken and a few intentional mistakes while choosing the path. I had never seen her enjoying so much before. Carefree, cheerful and full of exuberance.

Finally, we reached her destination. I looked at the clock. It had been almost two and half hours with her. We didn't want to go but the moment had arrived. Alas! Time passes quickly when you seem to enjoy it. We had come to the last point.

We bade goodbye to each other and she started walking on her path. I was still standing there. She turned back, gave a smile and then disappeared among the rain drops with a promise to return again. The Angel was gone but she had left behind something very precious for me. Memories to cherish for a lifetime. :)